Anonymous: So me and my boyfriend broke up two months ago because he left me another girl online but he doesn't know that girl is secretly me catfishing him

better-than-kanye-bitchh:

OH MY GOD

YOU A SMART BITCH

thefourteenthdoctor:

watchtheskytonight:

spirit-of-the-ocean:

my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such 

then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud

IT’S BACK

I’m sure that’s what he thought.

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

  • demon: i possessed you
  • me: get the fuck out
  • demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
  • me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit